A dinner table discussion for seniors—an “organ recital” and talk of falling.
I’m Gary Ebersole, back with another episode of Camp Codger. Before we get to the unlikely premise that Dirty Harry qualifies as a life coach, let me set the stage. When folks over 70 get together, you can usually expect the conversation to quickly shift to “ills and pills” (or “organ recital” if you prefer). It happened to us the other night when we met some friends for dinner. The litany of our latest ailments began so quickly that I don’t think everybody was seated before it started. The good news is that we’re all self-aware enough to laugh at senior moments like this.
On a positive note, sometimes out of these inevitable health-related discussions come words of wisdom. That night was one of those occasions. We kicked off the dialogue when one of us mentioned the outcome of a rather serious fall. The fear of falling is always with most seniors, and many of us can recite recent falls. Sometimes, we just assume the occasional fall is inevitable and hope the damage is, at most, a minor scrape. Sadly, that is not always the case with older folks, as any ER doctor will tell you.
Be Present
The conversation took a turn toward the topic of prevention, and I volunteered my recently adopted practice of using trekking poles when hiking on trails. I’ve taken a few tumbles over the last couple of years, and I realized my falls were triggered by a combination of letting my thoughts drift (getting absent-minded, I suppose) and taking less vigorous steps as I get older. As much as I thoroughly dislike using those damned sticks, it’s worked. I’ve been fall-free for over a year. It certainly beats the alternative of giving up hiking. In my view, humans are not natural quadrupeds (two legs, two poles), and we pay more attention to the simple act of walking and planting our trekking poles, which reduces the risk of falling.
Our friend Dave offered the best phrase for the practice of paying attention. He tells himself to “Be Present” when heading down a flight of stairs or taking on an unfamiliar or risky task. It’s very Zen-like, a relaxing mantra that doesn’t feel like you’re browbeating yourself. I’ve already started using the “be present” mantra to remind myself to stay focused and pay attention to my surroundings. With our diminishing proprioception, being present and in the moment is even more vital to our health.
Limitations
Dave was on a roll that night. When the conversation drifted to those tasks that are getting harder to do as we get older, like climbing up a 26-foot ladder to get to the roof, he offered a great line from a movie. In a dramatic scene from Magnum Force, Clint Eastwood, in his portrayal of Dirty Harry, says, “Man’s got to know his limitations.” Is that line spot on for aging or what?
We don’t need to give up completely, but we should acknowledge reasonable limitations. This is especially true when it comes to tasks where bad outcomes are possible. I know there are times when I’m doing something moderately risky that would have been perfectly fine when I was 55 and reasonable at 60 or even 65, but just foolish now at 76.
These are positive words to live by as we grow older—“be present” and “know your limitations.” We can still be active and fully engaged, but we just need to pay a bit more attention and accept that our capabilities are not what they used to be.
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